Reflection Paper #3: Self ConceptTina KimSpeech 100Winter 2018 – CRN 25181Professor MoscozoReflection Paper #3: Self ConceptWhen asked, “who are you?” people normally answer with how they see themselves.
Everyone’s answers are always different whether another person agrees to the answer or not. Self-concept is a “relatively stable set of perception” (Adler et. al., 2015, p.
70) that one may see of oneself in aspects that go beyond from physical features. Some of the aspects include talent, interests, roles, and values; however, not all aspects may be equally important to everyone. Self-concept is sometimes influenced by the situation that has occurred. When describing yourself, personal characteristics are normally used; however, self-concept may be based on where they live or the cultural group they identify with is. For example, the two ways someone can use to identify their self-concept are, “laid back, funny, traditional,” and “a Californian Kappa Kappa Gamma.” A big part that plays in self-concept is self-esteem, which “refers to the judgments and evaluations we make about our self-concept” (“Communication in the Real World,” 2016).
For instance, people who have high self-esteem have a better chance at successful communication with others; whereas, people with low self-esteem seem to easily give up before trying to communicate because they believe they will fail.There are two theories that describe how communication and interaction can shape one’s self-concept. One of the theories includes when someone mirrors the judgment of others around them, which is called reflected appraisal.
For instance, when you get praises and positive messages, you learn to appreciate and value yourself. The second theory is social comparison, which is when someone comparing themselves to others, just like when young women tend to compare them self with models. The way we see ourselves could be completely different to how others view you, but cognitive conservatism may happen when someone says that you, a loving and caring person, have become a selfish person. But instead of listening to them, understanding them and trying to change your behavior, you ignore them and continue on with your behavior. In other words, self-concept may be subjective and may resist any changes. However, a healthy self-concept may be flexible when you listen to the other person and try and change your behavior, so it can come back to being loving and caring again—because the reality of self-concept is that people’s behavior and personalities change throughout time.
To my mom and my family, women are supposed to be well-behaved, quiet, skinny, respectful, and dependent on others around them–especially men. Throughout my life, I had to hear that I shouldn’t eat much because “bigger girls aren’t beautiful,” regardless of how skinny or big I was at the time. Hearing it all so often, the reflected appraisal of what they were telling me made me think that I was too big for my size, and started to starve myself throughout middle school and half of high school.
While growing up, I was in a lot of after-school programs and different households because of the many babysitters I had, which helped shape some of the qualities I have now. I am an only child, so being in places where I was not the only person helped me learned that I wasn’t going to be the first and I would have to get stuff done by myself instead of waiting for others to come and help me. In high school, I was in a bad relationship where I was lied to, manipulated and, in a way, used, which broke down any of the independence I had. But, going through that experience and learning how to move forward from it helped me find my independence in a different way, and help me gain the empathy and honesty I have towards others.Growing up in different environments every so often gave me the chance to somewhat veer away from the stereotypical quiet and male-dependent female role in the family, and I definitely learned how to behave slightly differently from my family’s beliefs. Therefore, I identify myself as empathetic, emotional, patient, honest, observant and, most importantly, independent.
ReferencesAdler, R. B., Rosenfeld, L. B.
, & Proctor, R. F. (2015). Interplay: The Process of InterpersonalCommunication (13th ed.).
New York, NY: Oxford University Press. 70-80.Communication in the Real World: An Introduction to Communication Studies. (2016,September 29). Retrieved January 23, 2018, from http://open.lib.umn.edu/communication/chapter/2-3-perceiving-and-presenting-self/