“Is he going to be okay?” , said my grandson, Liam, whose who’s eyes were filled with utter confusion. I looked over to him and in the arms of my daughter, as the heartbeat began to slow down.
All of the things i had done, they were great but i wish it would not all end, i had so much more to do. 85 years, and each stage seemed to pass at a blink. Maybe the first twenty years weren’t so bad, but after that getting to fourty took no time and i began to worry about how long this would last. Than sixty was even faster but coming to terms wasn’t so hard, and now here i am at mid eighty having just gone through the fastest twenty or so years of my life. The last beats were the longest however, just being filled with emotion when seeing the tears fall from my families eyes. Each beat beat losing more and more consciousness, and i fall into a state of my whole life unfolding in front of my eyes. Then there i was, all was black and in the deepest sleep yet. Opening my eyes it is all too bright and im struggling to get up.
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I can hear voices murmuring under my boggling mind. Tapping on my shoulder but i am unable to move, but i hear a voice say “are you good bro?… Get him some f**king water idiot. Finally all begins to seem much more clear, as im able to get myself up off the ground.
After a couple of blinks and my mind and stomach settle, it all begins to make sense. I feel a hand on my shoulder and a familiar voice say “how was your trip my dude?”. In my left hand i’m barely holding on to a bong. In front of my me is my dining room table covered in bags of chips, ice cream and a deck of cards. I look behind me and it’s my friend Patrick and around the table everyone else.By everyone else i mean Levi, Tony and Steve. My mom had left to go on vacation for the month and it was my first day with an open house.
Me and the boys had gone out for dinner and then came back to my place. And i guess that’s where i left off. But just as i had wished for my first twenty years back and ready to enjoy, and hey even the next three blinks to kind of enjoy too.”You were out for way longer than we expected, i was starting to get scared. Like…. Either this dude fell in love or he actually just died in his dining room.” Said patrick, to which Levi replied “Haha ya… What happened in your trip Jack?.
.. Uh just kidding i don’t care, well since you guys asked i actually became quite a good person. I had a girlfriend who was the love of my life, i helped around the community and we were ready to have kids.
But… You know i got bored and didn’t want to waste my trip so i bought a katana and chopped the first person i saw in half”.Although what levi had just said was one of the weirdest things i had ever hear my high was not completely done. I could not stop thinking about my Family. By my i mean the old me, Shane. Hannah and i had met in my second year at college, i know it might sound cheesy but i saw her walking down the hall in my dorm and it was love at first site. Each time we walked by each other she smiled at me and i did so too. Eventually i built up the nerve to ask her out and you know how love at first site works.
So we dated on and off through college but always stayed together in the end. When school was finally over we… Uhhh Patrick will never shut up “And then i was like, oh nooo! But i was ok i had one of my servants shoot him, because you know i was the successor to Kim Jong-il and my dumb brother Kim Jong-Un was 6 months younger than me, which is pretty much a year. Well anyway after i killed that guy i pressed my nuclear button which was probably the biggest nuclear button they have, and i completely destroyed The United States.”, said Patrick. With a sarcastic tone i respond to Patrick “Wow that’s so cool, that you did that!” “Thanks man, it actually was pretty intense now that i think of it” says Patrick.In that moment i realised that two of my four friends were horrible people and for future reference i should not take advice from them.
Well anyway since listening to them is useless, let’s start where we left off. Hannah and i went on to buy and apartment. Oh and how did we get the money? We technically were negative in funds, however Hannah had a couple of wedding photography gigs here and there and i had just got a physio job with my Kinesiology degree. So pretty much we made a kid an than another one. Margaret and Bob, a brother and sister who both had old people names, which was not my idea. By this time we moved out of the apartment and bought a house in the city, also Hannah’s business was booming. Our kids were sprouting and maturing into real humans that are impactful in so….
Will they please quiet down with their ridiculous stories.”No, I won! Do you want to know why? Well of course both of your trips were lame, especially yours Levi. Haha! I can’t believe you were a normal person at one point. I made my fortune by buying a 3d printer and with that i printed a new 3d printer and returned the first one.
I kept doing that until eventually i had millions worth of printers that could sell. That got really boring though, do you know i became the ultimate prankster! I got a job as a mailman, and all i did was ding dong ditch and steal people’s mail” Said Steve with an arrogant tone. Neither Patrick nor Levi were as impressed as Steve was with his trip. “At least Levi killed someone in his, all you did was make money and steal mail which i already do in real life” said Patrick. However i was still not interested in what they had to say.
On top of that their attitudes just veered my mind more to the good times with Hannah.”Ehh emm… Quiet down guys i’m trying to think”Now where was I?… right. The kids were starting to become useful humans. So much so that Bob was finishing his first year of college and Margaret was in the process of getting into one herself. The first feeling of real responsibility, bad stress and huge change. Or you could just say independence and freedom for us. Freedom… We were actually going through the same thing as her i guess. Really though after they left nothing exciting happened, not that that needed to happen.
We worked more, and more, and more and then… guess what? We retired, which I guess is pretty exciting. We didn’t move to Florida surprisingly, but we did go on vacation. We travelled through Italy, France and the rest of Europe.
The second time we were too old to move around on our own so we went on a cruise. After that it was pretty much the e…
What is it this time? Do they have another dumb f*cking story that i have to listen too? “Spit it out Tony! What?”, i said.”Well mine was actually pretty depressing. I don’t know if i want to do this again.
” Said Tony in a scared tone of voice. Patrick replies “Ya well all of yours were depressing compared to mine!” “I was raised by a single mother. Well actually i don’t know if i can actually say she raised me, because she passed away when i was 16. I was left homeless and hopeless.
“”No it’s ok you don’t have to tell us Tony. Mine wasn’t the most exciting either and the ending is kind of depressing too.