Conflict has advantages, as well as disadvantages. In a romantic relationship, some advantages would be, releasing stress and emotions and increasing way to help find solutions in solving the situation at hand. However, disadvantages do occurs. Some disadvantages include; developing negative feelings toward one another, and creating trust issues. “Conflicts can be productive, creating, deeper understanding, closeness and respect, or they can be destructive, causing resentment, and hostility” (Nadia, 2010). My relationship with my fiance© consist of conflict of interest. We disagree a lot about money, and how t should be spent.
Also, we find disagreement in talking to other outside our relationship, about personal issues. When this happens, we normally sit down and try to talk things out. This doesn’t always seem to work. When talking doesn’t work how we plan, he usually gets up and walks away. If he walks off, we will ignore the issue. This just seem to cause more conflict in the future, when the topic come back up. What I could do differently would be, bringing up the topic again, once he has calmed down. This will help, by trying to solve the problem ahead of time. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others ay raise their voices and passionately disagree.
The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right. When I make an attempt to overcome our conflicts, it reflects my family background and how I was raised to deal with personal issues. My family was always real close and we would talk out our issues, and wouldn’t be able to leave the table until we solves the problem. In my relationship, this doesn’t append how I would like.
When my fiance© and I are in the middle off disagreement, I find myself sitting with my arms crossed. I find myself rolling my eyes a lot, when he make smart remarks. Nonverbal communication includes body language, tone of voice and facial expressions, all of which can be misinterpreted. When nonverbal cues are misinterpreted, it can create conflict in a relationship. I believe these nonverbal cues portrays my lack of interest, in what he is saying and that I am not taking him seriously, or listening fully. Attentive listening is a very important quality to have. This is he key to gaining understanding to help solve, or resolve conflict.
Listening actively when conflict occurs, will help find a solution faster than if you didn’t listen. Being calm and listening to your partners side and hearing things from his or her point of view, will help you have a better understanding. I express this to my fiance© all the time. He will listen to what have to say and I will do the same with him. This allows us to come to an agreement more promptly. If we aren’t listening to each other this created more conflict between us. The ability to listen and hear what another person is saying is needed to work wrought conflicted situations. Although we all like to think we’re saying exactly what we mean, that’s not always the case, especially when we’re talking to someone who uses a style very different then our own” (Carter, 201 1). During conflict resolution, I use assertive communication. Am an easy going person. Always care about what people have to say, as well as what they think. Always ask for their opinions, before I express my own. I try to be as fair as possible, but make sure get my opinion across as well. The way you communicate has a big impact on how you get on with people and get the things you want.
Good communication skills can help you avoid conflict and solve problems, they’re also important for making friends and having healthy relationships. Being assertive, when communicating is considered a healthier communication style. It helps you gain self-esteem, earn respect from others, reduces stress, creates more honest relationships, and creates situations that evens out. Being assertive creates less drama, opposed to passive-aggressive behavior. All in all, conflict is something we all encounter at some point in life. I have engaged in several conflicted situations, where conflict has changed my motions, and stress levels.